Another 5 Bite the Dust

16 Jul

Another 5 pounds down! In one week! I know that this rapid weight loss will probably not continue nor would it be healthy if it did but I’m excited nonetheless.

We all know that weight loss takes both diet and exercise to be to really be successful. Here are some methods that have been working for me over the past few weeks.

Diet:
Prepare all meals one handed. Difficult? Yes. However, your food remains largely unprocessed and unappetizing rendering what you do eat harder to digest.
Eat all meals one handed. Half of your food will fall on your lap – easiest way to cut calories EVER.
Watch gory, crime scene dramas while exercising. Any appetite that is built up from working out will quickly be curbed by all of the blood and guts.

Exercise (will require acquisition of 9lb weight):
Pace Around Your House. This is to be done non-stop for 2 hours at a time while carrying your weight. Make sure to alternate the weight between arms. To burn extra calories, add shushing to the routine. You’ll run out of breath much quicker which is a good sign, right?
Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up.  All with the weight in hand.
Clean. Find a sitter for your *ahem* “weight” and clean the heck out of your house. All of that scrubbing will make you feel productive, burn calories, and get rid of any pent up frustrations that may result from constant pacing, sitting, and standing.

That’s about it. Turns out, the only thing more effective than the Morning Sickness Diet is the Newborn Diet.

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